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Good person

Am I a good person? I don't know...
Do I want to be a good person? Yes!
Is wanting to be a good person what drives me? Erm, not primarily..?

I want to have coherence and rigor. I want what I say to fit what I do and the other way around. I want to be free but not lazy. I want to be social but not lack time for myself. I want to love and be loved and love myself. I want to want to help others. I want to be true to who I really am. I want the real me to live up to my standards.

Where is the balance between just doing what I feel like and doing what I feel is right even if it annoys me to be as authentic as possible? How much do I have to control myself to be and stay on the right track?
What does it even mean to be 'a good person'?

I think it means to be empathic to other people's suffering and to feel the need to ease it.
I think it means being open to the vast diversity of this world and to appreciate it rather than being afraid of it.
I think it means taking action and responsibility for the world we're all living in, be it on a small or big scale.
In the end it's really not about the actions themselves but about the attitude.

If Mother Therese just helped all those people to feel acknowledged, she was selfish.
If she did the same just for the sake of being helpful, she was a saint.
Who can ever judge this except for the person acting?
Luke said 'It's okay to feel good for helping others!', but isn't it important to know the main motivation? Isn't that exactly what makes the difference?

Sometimes I ease my mind by telling myself that this exact question already makes me better, but I don't know if that's not just an excuse maybe...
Then again, having a good impact on the world always is a good thing, right? So why thinking about it so much... maybe too much?!
Is it me or the world who judges if I'm a good person in the end?
How can I find peace vis-à-vis this question, when I don't delegate it to some kind of deity?
Well I just have to decide, don't I..?
Or let it rest...

Plato said the value of a human life can't be measured before it's over, because before that it's not complete...
Kant said the value of a human life becomes evident in every decision the human in question effects...
I have no idea who is right...

I'll just do my almost-best. Still granting myself a lot of time to relish this existence and to think about existential questions like this...^^
Why be a good person that is lonely and sad..?
No, I'd rather be a semi-good person but happy and loved... :3
3.11.16 02:56
Letzte Einträge: Für mich, Dummheit..., Trotzdem dankbar

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